He has beautiful eyes. Literally.

I wasn't actually going to write today but there's this one thing that was bothering me for the longest time. I can't really say it was bothering me because it's a good kind of feeling. It's more of a I-cannot-fall-asleep-because-of-the-guy-I-like kind of thing. I wanted to write it down cause if I don't, I will go crazy. I met him in my operation management class last semester. My first impression of him wasn't really that good. He sort of came out like a bad boy kinda type. He had girls all over him all the time. To be very honest, I didn't pay any attention to him at all. He was just another person in the class. 

Then we met again this fall semester and we had 2 classes together. Still, didn't pay any attention to him until the second week of classes. I was waiting for the other class to finish so I could get in the classroom. He was pacing back and forth and it looked like he wanted to say something. One more pace and we locked eyes. He smiled and his eyes transformed into a line. Literally just a line. 

"How many classes do we have together? Cause i swear I keep seeing you everyday." 

"Uh. We only have 2 classes together I believe."  

"That's so weird. I could've sworn you were in at least 4 of my classes." 

He smiled again. The dimples under his eyes appeared. That's the thing I'm crazy for. A week after, I actually dreamed about him and I guess that's how it happened. 

Last week, we had a group in-class assignment, and I swear for the last 13 weeks, the professor doesn't put us in the same group. That is until last week when he let us choose whichever group we like. He had his hand on my shoulder and jumped from behind me and snatched my book. 

"Do you mind if we share your book?" He smiled again. Dang it.
I couldn't even speak.
"Well I guess you wouldn't mind."

He took the book and scooted next to me. I literally had to take a deep breath. I opened my phone just so it wouldn't be awkward.

"Do you have a son? Is that your baby?"
"Omg no. Why would you even think that?"
"I don't know. Just wanted to make sure"
"What about you? Do you have a son? I always see you go in the day care"
"Hell no, I'm not a father" //giggles//

The lock screen on my phone was my nephew's photo. He was so touchy. Not in a pervert way but just the normal touching between friends. He kept stealing my phone too. Too bad, that was our last class together. I didn't even get to ask for his number. I hope we get to be in the same class again. This was the longest post ever. Sobs. Still so disappointment at myself.

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Yes, I am still alive

Kinda needed a little update on myself. I haven't been updating my blog regularly, not just my blog, but all my social media accounts. They're all just rotting away. Just like my life. School has been draining my energy and it's not even funny. I started fall 2015 with 7 subjects and I ended up dropping a subject cause the workload was just too much. I've also turned 21 this month. Hope I can act, look and think like one. YEY.

Anyways, school has just eating up most of my time really. All I do is read books (yeah right), do quizzes online and assignments. Don't forget: NOTES! I need to always write notes because that's the only way I'll memorize and learn lessons. Such a curse. Also, I'm supposed to be on my work term this winter but can't seem to find the right job so I haven't even applied to any as of now. I don't know if the co-op would take me off since I haven't really done anything to find a job. But I got everything taken care of...hopefully...by my co-op and academic advisor, though I still haven't received my new model route. I guess I'll just wait.

Recently, I've developed this new boy crush once again. Kevin is finally out of the picture. Though, I still find myself trying to search for any of his whereabouts on the internet. The new boy toy is Justin. It's such a coincidence cause all the guys that I've ever had a crush on are either named Justin or Kevin. How weird is that? I'm such a hoe. Seriously, it seems like I have a new crush every single semester. When will I ever behave.

Back to the main topic, school. I'm doing good so far. Compared the my last semester in the accounting program, International Business is way better. I just hate all the presentations but oh well. My favourite subject is Psychology. My professor there is way too cool and its just...I never want to miss any of his classes. I should have taken him on a Monday at 8am instead. That way I'm sure I'm not going to skip it. I love it. My marks are above my expectations and I hope to keep it that way.

We are also planning on getting a puppy! How exciting is that?! I can't wait. ㅠㅠ. School's almost done and Christmas is on the way. New year is coming up and I still don't know how to write an epic closing sentence.

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introverts

Credit

I have been procrastinating on posting a blogpost this past few weeks. I barely go out of my room, yet a lot of things has happened. It kinda overwhelms my mind. It's like as if I was living into another space in time and the world just kept spinning without me in it. It's weird. 

Lately, I told myself that I should be more outgoing. But it doesn't look 

like I will ever be one. It's just a pain in the ass. I'm just too lazy to even 

leave my room. 

Introvert.

Well, I guess being introverted is the biggest cause of that. 

You know sometimes,

I wish

I wasn't an introvert.

It's both a curse and blessing at the same time.

As much as I wanted to go out, my mind and body just says no. Laziness has taken over my mind, body and soul. I wish
there would be a day
where I can finally say the word
"yes"
when my friends asks me to hang out with them.

“Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it."

-John Green

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Downtown

 

I ended up sleeping in the living room. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to my previous post. I tried kicking the flies out but it ended up kicking me out and I was left to sleep in the living room since there were no more room left. I barely slept a wink. 2 hours at least.

Then I took off with my youngest sister and grandma to downtown. There was a $1 flip flop sale at Old Navy and we just had to get like 30. Not really but you get what I mean. Then I toured her around downtown and took way too many photos. It was really fun since it was my first time going out without my parents.

I'm so proud I finally got the hang of the public transportation. About a year ago, I literally couldn't ride any public transportation without anyone. I never really needed to though. My parents had always picked me up, drove me everywhere I needed to. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't know how to. But when I got a job downtown, I was forced to learn and take the subway.

Anyways, we had a lot of fun at downtown. We took pictures, visited the mall, walked around the downtown area, and walked to my mom's workplace so she can drive us home. Hahaha. After getting home, I cleaned my room. I was terrified that the flies were gonna strike again. It was filthy, I couldn't even see my floor. Literally!

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Angry as Hell

It's 2:36 in the morning and I still haven't slept a wink. I'm so afraid that if I sleep, these flies that are flying around in my room will eat me up. There were like 5 of them and I'm so scared it's going to go near me once I turn off my lights. I've only killed one and there's another fly that just flew passed my face and I almost shit my pants. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm getting so itchy and I feel like they're on me. I'm debating whether to sleep in my room or downstairs in the living room. But I'm scared to sleep alone and its downstairs. The struggle is real.

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Rainy Day

Lazy day.

 It rained the whole day today.  I kinda liked it but I also hated it at the same time. I wanted to go out and walk around but thanks to the rain, I got to take a nap. Back when I was little, I used to love napping at the sound of rain droplets. I still love it today, the only difference is that I can't nap because I can't bear to leave my electronics. Sad reality. So I just end up listening to the droplets hitting my window while on the laptop, ipad and my phone.

It was such a lazy day, I didn't do anything productive at all. The biggest accomplishment I did today was to shower to be honest. I hate showering. It gets me all cold and my skin gets dry. Curse you, Canada. Oh and one more thing, I also finished 1/2 of my Woogyu two shot on Asianfanfics. That story has been rotting in my account for a whole year.

Anyways, asides that, I've been fixing my blog as well, trying to look for another layout. I don't know, I like it like this. I don't know why I had the urge to change it. Whatever. I'll probably forget after posting this. I checked the weather and apparently, its supposed to rain the whole day tomorrow as well. I predict another lazy day. It's late and I need to sleep.

And I also need to go and get a job. I'm broke as fuck. 

If only blogging like this earns me a lot of money. Sobs ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

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I just needed to update

It's been over a week since my grandma arrived from the Philippines and she's been doing every chore in the house and I feel like that gif above. She feeds me so much and wakes me up at 7 in the morning just to walk outside.

Also I've been back to Taekwondo after a month of laziness. It felt awkward being there, now that the master wants us to instruct the little kids and also because I haven't been the in the dojang for like forever. I'm just too awkward. Sobs. My laziness is slowly coming back and I kid you not writing this post took every ounce of my energy.

I have also started writing on asianfanfics again. I've finally started to finish my latest Woogyu twoshot that's been forgotten for over a year. I still have yet to publicized my other works. They were all on private because I was thinking of fixing my grammar mistakes but up till now, nothing has been done.

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"You should go out more often"

The bible study group was at my house today so my best friends gave a me a visit. Or should I say, they were just there to pick up their parents. We haven't seen each other for a long time and being together felt so awkward. It was hell. I didn't know what to say. I have been withdrawing myself from my friends, from society, not knowing exactly why. Lately, all I want to do is stay home and not talk to anybody.

"You should go out more often!!"

I laughed out loud in my head. The reason why I haven't been going out is because of them two. They've been doing things without me, hanging out, shopping, sleepover, etc. I got a little jealous you know. Neither of them invited me out. So I decided not to go whenever they invited me somewhere. Yes, I know. I'm bitter as hell. 

Anyways, change of topic, Since they did the bible study at my house, I became a babysitter for the day. I was drained. All the energy I have in my body have gone out. I am so glad I didn't take Early Childhood education. I probably would have murdered the kids if they were hyper and didn't listen to me. At the end of the day, my room was trashed and I cleaned. 

D-3 to the arrival of my grandma to Toronto! We've been waiting 9 years to reunite. Can't wait. 

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two and a half more weeks

There is 16 more days left of school for me. Without counting the weekends, there's 12 more days left. So excited and happy to be finally out of school again (for the meantime) since I still have 2 more years to go. I am so stressed right now. So many assignments and projects due this week. Don't forget the tests also happening this week. I used to be such a hardworking student, what ever happened to me?

D+ for Math. 

Let's see if I could bring this up to at least a C. I would be very glad.

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today was a happy day.

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고마워

I don't know but thank you.

Thank you for letting me at least get to know you.
Thank God for letting me meet you.
I don't know how it happened and I, myself, is not even sure about how I feel
But just thank you.

I know "we" will never happen and I know that for sure.

I don't really care as I don't even know how I feel about you.

And I don't know why I'm writing this. 

I'm just happy that I met you. 

You might have came off as an arrogant bitch in the beginning

At least most of us thought so and I''m sorry

Because you probably didn't realize how you're acting

But I know you're nice.

Though it seems like you have a heart cold as ice.

Oh, by the way. You look cute when you smile

And giggle. Please keep smiling instead of frowning

Like you always do.

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Looking Back

Stumbled upon my blog on this lonely night and I re-read and deleted some of my posts. I realized I was such a drama queen when I read my archive. I was 18 then. I'm 20 now. How time flies.

I'm still the same lame person though. I'm still struggling in college. I still don't know where I'm heading to. I finally changed my major to International Business. It's not that great but at least its not Accounting right?

Life goes on. I'm still alive and breathing. I just need to start believing in myself and my capabilities and how far it will take me. Who knows, I might come back here and finally have an uplifting post. Until then.  

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