5 Things I Need To Improve On

Today's Canada Day! I'm not usually the type of person to go out and celebrate, but today, let's celebrate it with this entry. Let's face it, I'm not the only one who thinks about the stuff they need to put a little effort on. I'm pretty sure you're thinking about them right now, aren't you? I think about these things more so often that I get so stressed just thinking about it. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to this post later on and laugh about it. Without further ado, let's get on with the entry.

1. Studying
I honestly cannot even fathom how I went from an honour roll student to nothing. My name has never been lower than Top 5 of the class when I was in the Philippines. Then Canada came. My marks has never seen the line of 9's in a while. I don't believe I'm dumb because if I actually put effort in school, I actually get good grades. I guess I'm just really lazy. From here on, I promise that I will do anything it takes to bring my grades up. I want to graduate college as a member of the Honour Roll Society.

2. Being socially awkward
Ever since I was young, this topic has always stressed me so much. Though I'm different when you get to know me and befriends me but I'm just not good at being social. I cannot make friends! I'm too shy and I get too conscious of what people might think about me. I think this is the main reason why I can't land a job. I love my personality but my social anxiety holds me back from every opportunity I find. My friends barely invites me out now because they know I'm just going to turn it down anyways. That's how bad I am with being social. And I really really really want to change that. I've spend so many times sulking over my friends not inviting me out.

PS. I'm the best friend you can ever have online. Hahaha. My KPOP twitter friends can testify on this.

3. Time management
No lie, I'm the best at time management when it comes to important things in my life. I've got school assignments all written down on my bullet journal. I was never late to any of my job schedules, personal appointments and I've finished all my school assignments on time. But when it comes to things that are not on my top priority, I can never manage them at all! I can never manage the schedule of this blog and my other social media that I end up not posting for weeks and weeks on. Maybe it could be writer's block or whatever. I have way too many drafts that I have yet to post because I can never finish writing them. From now on, I will put more effort in scheduling my social media things so my accounts does not rot in the dark. Haha.

4. Writing
I love writing a lot. But my grammar bucket is too shallow to make any of my stories look and sound interesting. I have so many ideas for a story but the story always ends up sounding like a children's book because of the words I choose to use. I vowed to read more books on my free time so my brain can take in as much English words it can take. Considering how I lived half my life in Canada, my English is still not up to par with the people I know.

5. Procrastinating
I know this is probably the hardest thing to change out of the other 4 above, but it must be done. I hate the stress I get every time I procrastinate and I end up doing things the day before I'm supposed to do it. I have my bullet journal to help me with this. Because I procrastinate a lot, I usually divide the tasks I need to do and just cross them out on my journal for personal satisfaction. I love looking at my bullet journal and seeing all the crossed out tasks. It's probably one of the most satisfying feeling ever for me. Although I might not be able to break out of this habit easily, I will put the biggest effort to lessen the procrastination I always put myself into. In fact, I literally fought the urge to postpone this entry because I was being too lazy. But I won over it and now this entry is almost finished.

Took me forever to think about the things I need to improve on since I feel like I need to improve my whole life and habits. Sad to say but I actually feel like I need to improve on everything in my life. But fortunately I was able to weigh each topics and came up with just 5. With this, I won't be too overwhelmed with all the things I need to improve on. I need to take it little by little until everything is perfect.

What do you need to work or improve on in your life?

Happy Canada Day, Canada! 

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The Worst Combo

I have been MIA these past few weeks. I have been sick for the last 2 weeks and it was the most brutal experience I have had. High fever + dry cough + cold are the worst combinations of all combinations of sickness. I could barely do anything and all I could do was try to sleep. I've had many sleep lost in the process. How does one sleep with a cold and crazy annoying dry cough trying to attack you while trying to sleep. I literally could not sleep without a sleeping pill.

And because I couldn't sleep, I just watched the sunrise every 6 in the morning. It was cool but I was also very tired as heck.

I feel much better now, as you can tell. I finally have enough energy to post this. Though I'm still sick, my fever finally left me. I just have to deal with my cold and cough. It seems like every time I get sick, it's for 3-4 weeks time. It never goes away! Also, I finally cleaned my room and disinfected it to get the "sickness air" away from my room.

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Procrastination!!

My mind is seriously this close to exploding because of all the stress I'm getting from school. //tries to calm down// I should be finishing my customs assignment but I somehow found myself on blogger. I was trying so hard not to go here but I guess I'll just talk about what I did this past few days. This way, I can forget about school stress, even if its just for a little bit.

This is a page from my bullet journal. I drew this while trying to finish some late business assignment. I am prone to procrastination and this is what happened. I wasnt able to finish my assignment that day but at least I got to finish this one. Hahahaha.

Here is another one of my creation. I tried doodling this using the Sharpie marker and without using a ruler but it looked quite messy so I ended using my Pilot's gel pen and a ruler. It took me forever to finish this since yes, you guessed it, I was doing my assignments and my notes in between. I kept taking breaks and watching a drama. HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN DESCENDANTS OF THE SUN? Lord jesus, that drama is so intense. I can't even. Every episode takes about 10 years off of my life. It is that intense. Joong Ki, my love.

Roughly about 8 hours later, here is the final product of my doodling session. My dad kept telling me to stop wasting paper and ink for this. It turned out pretty nice though! What do you think?

This was taken last Friday. I skipped my Customs class just so I can study for my Human Resource midterm test. I literally stayed here for about 4 hours studying. My butt have never felt so numb that day. This was in the E building. That building is my favourite because there is usually no one around because it is one of the old buildings. I only left this spot when I bought lunch, only to come back here because I didn't like the crowded cafeteria. Fortunately, the questions that my prof gave us for review were the same questions on the test and I finished within 30 minutes.

Lastly, my mildliner finally came in the mail!! It only took about 4 months. /sarcasm intended/ Apparently, the shipment got lost and was sent to another country. I ordered this along with my HR textbook on January. I complained and sent the company a message and said they will send me a new one. Come to think of it, I should have asked them to refund me the money and send it to me for free because of the very long wait. But here it is now!! So happy!!

Anyways, this is it for today. It's almost midnight and I still have to go to school tomorrow to meet my groupmate. Ughhh. Tomorrow is my day off. But for the sake of my marks, I'll sacrifice tomorrow. Now, back to my assignments. I need to finish it tonight!

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Rest Day

This post was supposed to be posted yesterday, Thursday, but I accidentally deleted the photo. I was writing this entry on my ipad and I didn't know how to undo it. 

03.24.16
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I know I said from my previous post that I won't be able to post another blog entry this week because of my hectic schedule. But today, my class were cancelled. All classes were classes and all campuses were closed because of the winter/ice storm. I woke up at around 11am and I literally jumped out of bed because it was so late. Now, my class doesn't start until 3 in the afternoon but I take too long to get ready. Then, I decided to check my school email and there it was, a class cancellation email. I was ecstatic. 

I plopped down and buried myself underneath my duvet sheet even further, if that was even possible. I really needed this break. I felt like I was being dumped assignments after assignments, presentations after presentations, projects after projects and the lists goes on. Anyways, today is a rest-kinda-day. 

The tasks today is to stay home and bundle up all day. Stumbled upon LizQuen today and I kinda wanted to watch one of their movies so I decided to watch Just The Way You Are. It was so kilig! I loved it. Watched God Gave Me You again for the 2nd time. *applause applause for Maine and Jake* Was definitely not expecting such a dramatic scene. I was extremely looking forward to this Holy Week special. 

Oh, and before I forget, the image used for this entry is mine. I took the photo when it was raining. I can't remember when. I created it using Photoshop CS6. I really liked how it turned out and I used it as my desktop background and it looked even amazing. It reminded me of tumblr. Now, I'm kind of thinking of creating more background photos like this and put it up as freebies. 

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The Not-So-Sunday Currently | 4

Yeah I know. It's not Sunday anymore. The title should be The Tuesday Currently. It's 12:00am Tuesday morning over here and I can't sleep so I thought I'd make this post cause I don't think I'll ever get to posting this week if I don't post now. It's quite a busy week ahead for me. Too many assignments.

Currently Series | IV

Reading

my old blog that I accidentally found on my old hotmail account. I logged onto my old hotmail account because I needed a code to reset something. Then I stumbled upon an email from myself containing my livejournal account. I was like woaaaah. It's like finding a buried treasure. I was around 13 when I made that blog and email. I'm 21 now. I also read my bestfriends blog. So many good memories. I want to make a separate post about this one. 

Writing

this Sunday Currently 4th volume. Besides this though, I'm also doodling on my bullet journal. I started designing my April spread. I'll post it here when I get the time.

Listening

to the sound of my fingers slapping onto my keyboard and the eerily calm sound of my laptop fan piercing my ears. 

Smelling

my newly fresh-off-the-laundry blanket. My grandma washed it finally. This blanket is actually quite old. I got it when i was 12 years old for my first school trip away from home. Ahh memories.

Wishing

for my old life to come back. I really miss it, especially after reading my old blog. It makes me sad.

Hoping

to finish all my assigned homework this week. Fingers crossed. I also hope my Customs professor replies to our assignment so we can finally start our consultation letter. There's not much time until it's due.

Wearing

my old orange T-shirt that I got when my family and I went to church camp, girl boxer, and pink/white socks

Loving

how I stumbled upon my old blog and my old hotmail account. Opening my email and blog feels like opening a time capsule. They're almost 10 years old which basically categorizes it as a time capsule!

Wanting

a get together with my elementary and high school friends. I really need it! I'm so lonely. 

Needing

more time for my Customs Procedures assignment! We only have 2 days left and my professor hasn't replied yet meaning we can't start yet. 

Feeling

nostalgic. This may sound weird but it felt like I warped into 2007-2009 earlier while reading my emails. It felt so surreal. Kinda sad cause almost half of those people don't talk to each other anymore. I wish we could get a reunion party for our batch. I should put that for my wanting section lol.

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Join The Sunday Currently link up, originally composed by siddathornton here.

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Little Sick

 

Who goes twants to school at 8am for group meetings? Yeah, only mine does.

So, I told them I'm sick and wont be to able to come.

Hours later, I started feeling sick. I was extremely nauseated and eveything felt like they were spinning around. I still feel so icky and gross and dizzy as I'm writing this post. My mom always said to never lie because it's going to come true. I guess it happened this time. But seriously, I aint 'bout that 8am life. I am so not a morning person. Only when something good is happening on that day. I also don't want to meet them because every time our group meets, all they do is talk in their own language???? What is the point of inviting me then. Smh.

Anyways, a little update, I haven't realy been up to anything other than watching dramas. Lately, I've been into Taiwanese dramas. I usually watch Korean. I've finished Marry Me, or Not in a day. (I am addicted) I was extremely happy at the ending and I loved the characters so I ended up doing some research on them and I found out that Roy Chiu and Alice Ko were in another drama before called Office Girls. I gave it a try and I fell in love with it. There were 40 episodes (😱) but I managed to finish it in 2 days. It was so good! I recommend it to anyone who is looking for a drama to watch. These kind of dramas are the reason why I am still single at 21 years old. I have high expectations on men. I need a boyfriend. 

Only Filipinos are probably going to relate to this but I've been into the loveteam AlDub since the beginning. Anyways, they have a Lenten(?) special called God Gave Me You with Alden, Jake and Maine. (( (( screams )) )) I saw the trailer to it earlier and I can't believe I am saying this but I officially ship Jake Ejercito and Maine Mendoza together. I want to see them in more projects. Probably not now since AlDub is still on the rise but hopefully in the near future.

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I was originally going to write up my Sunday Currently post but there was really nothing I did this past week. It would just look so plain and boring so I'll just try and summarize what happened to me this whole week.

Nothing amazing and fabulous happened. All I did was go to school Thursdays and Fridays and go home and start re-taking my notes. I took my midterm tests for 3 of my classes and passed all three. Thank God. Also, I went and accompanied my parents and grandmother because it's that time of the year again. Filing tax income. Gosh, 5 years ago, I didn't need to do this. I'm doing adult things now.
And it's quite scary and nerve wracking.

And I re-wrote my notes again. I love taking notes. If there was a job for this kind of thing, I'd gladly take it. It's the only thing I'm good at. I made a tumblr blog. again. I kinda wanted to try it out and see if I like it better than here. I kinda wanted to have a tumblr life again. Like how I used to before. Back in highschool.

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Group Assignments Should Be Banned!

Who invented group projects and assignments? He must be the devil. Every time one of my courses has a group assignment, my eyes literally rolls back into the back of my brain. I hate the idea of group assignment. It's either I get a high mark or a low mark. There is no in between. I only get high marks when I take charge and do most of it but I'm done being the goody-two-shoes and always being used.

For my HR class, we had a group assignment assigned to us about 3 weeks ago. Our team consisted of 5 people. 4 of which were the same nationality. They could not speak English properly and they never let me do anything! I don't have anything against people whose English is not their first language. It isn't mine either. They literally just speak to each other in their language and I'm just sitting there like a log. It's really annoying. Every time I do my part and send it to them, they always erase my name and put it at the end of the name list. What the hell is that?

I stayed for another 3 hours after my Friday class in order to finish my part. I just needed to get it out of the way because I've been stressing so much about it. So I stayed for a total of 10 hours in campus. Saturday came, it was the due date for our assignment. It's today. I received a text message from 3 of them saying they didn't do the evaluation part. My eyes were rolled back behind my brain at this point and it never went back out. I was so pissed.

I was already relaxing at home and I had to hurriedly do the evaluation. Then I told them that I had already finish and submitted it to the online dropbox and they told me they want to see it first to check if it was right. Ugh. I, myself, knows it is correct 100% in terms of grammar and spelling. I just hate group assignments in general. I hate working with people.

One thing I learned from group assignments is that I hate people. This is probably the reason why Batman prefers to work alone. Group assignments should be banned. They just destroy relationships between classmates. I hate everyone in that class.

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Credit

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♡ New Obsession ♡

I have been obsessing over Jason Dy for the past 2 days. Literally. I just started listening to him 2 days ago and what better way to introduce him on my blog than to have this how-i-found-jason-dy kinda story on my post.

When I started obsessing out about him, I cursed myself for not following his The Voice Philippines journey. I can't believe it took me this long to listen to his albums. I've been hearing his name for quite a while but I've always brushed it off since I am (and still am) a fan of Daryl Ong after his blind audition popped up on my Youtube's recommended tag. 

Years passed, I refused to listen to him. Then last week, my dad and I were talking about Darren Espanto and ended up watching his Chandelier and I Believe cover on youtube. We've been a fan of Darren for a long time. I also clicked on Daryl's Ikaw Na Nga cover on Wish 107.5 after. I got curious and clicked on Jason's cover on Wish 107.5. At first I was like, "Ehh..Okay he's quite good."

Just 2 days ago, curiosity finally got the best of me and listened to his albums on Spotify and let me tell you I was blown away. I listened to his album at approximately 2 in the morning and I was trying my hardest not to scream because his songs are so good! I ended up sleeping around 4:30 am. AND I HAVE NO REGRETS. 

I woke up around 8 am and I woke my sister up so I could play the songs for her. She was furious for waking her up.

"Just listen to this one song and tell me what you think please"

"UGH."

I played 2HaveU and she literally jumped out of her bed and asked who sang it and I ended up playing the whole album for her. 

Now, all I wanna do is stalk his social media accounts(I'm not a stalker, I swear hahaha) and watch every video that has his face in it. Now I'm kinda disappointed that we have GMA Pinoy TV instead of TFC. Don't get me wrong, I love both stations. Anyways, yes, please support Jason Dy's career! Buy his digital and physical albums! I'm looking forward to your next album Jason! ♡

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Downtown

 

I ended up sleeping in the living room. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to my previous post. I tried kicking the flies out but it ended up kicking me out and I was left to sleep in the living room since there were no more room left. I barely slept a wink. 2 hours at least.

Then I took off with my youngest sister and grandma to downtown. There was a $1 flip flop sale at Old Navy and we just had to get like 30. Not really but you get what I mean. Then I toured her around downtown and took way too many photos. It was really fun since it was my first time going out without my parents.

I'm so proud I finally got the hang of the public transportation. About a year ago, I literally couldn't ride any public transportation without anyone. I never really needed to though. My parents had always picked me up, drove me everywhere I needed to. Maybe that's the reason why I didn't know how to. But when I got a job downtown, I was forced to learn and take the subway.

Anyways, we had a lot of fun at downtown. We took pictures, visited the mall, walked around the downtown area, and walked to my mom's workplace so she can drive us home. Hahaha. After getting home, I cleaned my room. I was terrified that the flies were gonna strike again. It was filthy, I couldn't even see my floor. Literally!

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I just needed to update

It's been over a week since my grandma arrived from the Philippines and she's been doing every chore in the house and I feel like that gif above. She feeds me so much and wakes me up at 7 in the morning just to walk outside.

Also I've been back to Taekwondo after a month of laziness. It felt awkward being there, now that the master wants us to instruct the little kids and also because I haven't been the in the dojang for like forever. I'm just too awkward. Sobs. My laziness is slowly coming back and I kid you not writing this post took every ounce of my energy.

I have also started writing on asianfanfics again. I've finally started to finish my latest Woogyu twoshot that's been forgotten for over a year. I still have yet to publicized my other works. They were all on private because I was thinking of fixing my grammar mistakes but up till now, nothing has been done.

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"You should go out more often"

The bible study group was at my house today so my best friends gave a me a visit. Or should I say, they were just there to pick up their parents. We haven't seen each other for a long time and being together felt so awkward. It was hell. I didn't know what to say. I have been withdrawing myself from my friends, from society, not knowing exactly why. Lately, all I want to do is stay home and not talk to anybody.

"You should go out more often!!"

I laughed out loud in my head. The reason why I haven't been going out is because of them two. They've been doing things without me, hanging out, shopping, sleepover, etc. I got a little jealous you know. Neither of them invited me out. So I decided not to go whenever they invited me somewhere. Yes, I know. I'm bitter as hell. 

Anyways, change of topic, Since they did the bible study at my house, I became a babysitter for the day. I was drained. All the energy I have in my body have gone out. I am so glad I didn't take Early Childhood education. I probably would have murdered the kids if they were hyper and didn't listen to me. At the end of the day, my room was trashed and I cleaned. 

D-3 to the arrival of my grandma to Toronto! We've been waiting 9 years to reunite. Can't wait. 

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151 of 365

It's been 3 months since my last post. I've been busy. Not really. I was just lazy as fuck. Well I finished my hell of a semester last month and I'm so fucking glad that was over. I'm thinking of switching programs but I'm just not sure which one. I don't really know and it stresses me so much. I shed so much tears in those last 2 months of 2nd semester. I'd like to thank my friends who was with me during tough times. Specially Fatima/dick friends. Shoutouts to you guys. I wouldn't be sane without you guys. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I mean it.

I really didn't do anything productive when I got out of school. All I did was go on twitter and update myself with Infinite and have a chat with my tlist. As always. I made numerous accounts for tumblr then deleting it again. I know I'm weird. My whole day literally just consisted of twitter/tumblr/youtube/blogger. I tried being productive but I just can't. I'm so lazy. I need help.

Two weeks after my summer vacation, my dentists told me to give her my resume because her husband's workplace is hiring and me being unemployed for the past 5 years thought why not? And so I gave her my resume the next day, along with my mom's, and lucky enough, they called me back after a week. So I got called in for an interview and I didn't know it was a restaurant tbh. I had to idea until I googled it at the last minute. Anyways, I got hired on the spot and the manager was really nice to me and we talked about my past experiences which was none.

It was actually my very first job. I attended their tasting event and I started working a week later. I started off as a food runner for two days because one of the manager thought I was hired as a food runner when I was actually a busser. So 3rd day, they switched me from running food to bussing. I had no training what-so-ever but they still put me on the job. The first week was fucking hell. It was so tiring. I've never done so much work in my life. My parent's doesn't even make me do heavy chores like those. It was a new experience to me.

Payday came though. My first paycheck wasn't big because I started when it was already their cutoff, so I only got paid for 2 days. The next payday came and all my hard work paid off. It was 3 times larger than my first paycheck and I got $200 worth of tips. I was really happy. I don't know what I'm gonna do with those money yet. Probably buy myself a phone because I've been phoneless for the last 6 years omg.

This is getting long and it doesn't even make sense anymore.

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Brrr

the furnace is still broken and the man won't be here until monday to fix it.

rotting underneath my thick duvet sheet, i'm slowly freezing to death.

this is my fate.

bye.

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